Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Poor Baby

Do stripper's babies wear clear diapers?

Sunday, March 15, 2009


It's weird to watch Nosferatu while using the Internet, because I imagine silent movies were as awesome to the people of the day as the Internet is today and it's creepy to think those things are meeting in my bedroom.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Drum City

311 came on just as I was passing Chad Sexton's Drum City. That is no coincidence.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Hot Crime

The ladies at my gym are all unnaturally good looking, but they all kind of look the same. If one of them were to steal from me, I would not be able to pick her out of a line up. Also, you know those are exactly the kind of people who steal shit. People who are handed everything because they're beautiful so they have to create their own drama by becoming criminals.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Rock of Love

Is there a competition to see which girl knows the words to "Unskinny Bop" or any other kind of Poison related trivia? I am seriously wondering.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

10 step program to stop watching Law and Orders

1. Admit when you have a problem. A good sign is when you read the DirectTv description, something like, "Benson may be the next target of a man with a history of raping powerful women" and you know exactly what happens.

2. Delete season passes to SVU and vanilla Law and Order, on NBC, TNT, and USA.

3. Replace your Benson and Stabler screen saver with a picture of people you actually know.

4. Do not start watching other crime shows, such as "The First 48", "Rookies" or even "Miami Vice".

5. Join a photography class. Or start doing yoga. Anything to fill up the extra 5 hours you'll enjoy daily.

6. Do not go on any dates with cops or lawyers or let anyone in your family do so.

7. Follow all laws! Do not run the risk of coming face to face with a real life cop. You will fall off the wagon.

8. TiVo lighthearted shows like "Will and Grace".

9. Do not visit New York City.

10. Cancel your Internet.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Days of the Week

Saturdays are for errands and ice cream.
Sunday are for spin class and bolognese.
Mondays are for job searching and white tee shirts.
Tuesdays are for petting stranger's dogs and lunch with Tim Saccardo.
Wednesdays are for doctor visits and chicken tikka masala.
Thursdays are for jump ropes and car washes.
Fridays are for pigtails and sandwiches.