Top Notch Aliens

After watching District 9 last night, and falling in love with extraterrestrials all over again, I thought it would be fitting to compile a list of my favorite aliens.

#1 - Christopher Johnson - District 9
Wow, could there be a more engaging alien who speaks a language I don't understand? No?

He gets my #1 Alien vote for the following reasons:
Looking like a grasshopper
Being a good dad
Having a really smart alien brain

From Gibblertron Blog Photos

#2 - ALF - The TV Show ALF
Despite the fact ALF was created from cocaine induced hallucinations, he's ok in my book. ALF is cuddly, non-threatening, and loves to talk. A lot like a nice guy on cocaine.

He gets my #2 Alien vote for the following reasons:
Eats cats
Very little visual leg exposure
Jewish

From Gibblertron Blog Photos

#3 - Sigourney Weaver - Alien movies
Ok, so she's not an alien in real life, only in the movies. But she's pretty great and the fact that she gets so close to the two mouthed guys means she's got grande cojones.
She gets my #3 Alien vote for the following reasons:
Look at her, look like anyone you know (me?). I mean, she kind of proves my point that I am 1980's hot.
She's half alien, half human. This lady can multitask (high five!)

From Gibblertron Blog Photos

#4 Everything about Event Horizon - the movie Event Horizon
This movie isn't really about aliens (ok, it isn't at all about aliens), but it takes place in space and is scary. Please see this movie if you like peeing on your couch.
This movie gets my #4 Alien vote for the following reasons:
I made this list and I chose to put it on here. It's position is arbitrary.

From Gibblertron Blog Photos

#5 Mac - Mac and Me
Holy shit was this the biggest rip off of the 80's or what? So Mac is taller than ET? That's what makes him different? Or is it that the kid is disabled? I mean, c'mon! Plus, the people who made the movie put a freeze frame at the end that says "We'll be back". Like that's all it takes to greenlight a sequel.
He gets my #5 Alien vote for the following reason:
The aliens have no anuses.

From Gibblertron Blog Photos

#6 I heart Huckabees - the whole movie and production
I like watching alien movies while under the influence of legalized marijuana. I also watch this movie while high.
Huckabees get's my #6 Alien vote for the following reasons:
Lilly Tomlin
I love pot

From Gibblertron Blog Photos

'Tis the season

From Gibblertron Blog Photos

Vanity Plate

"There's only two thing you need to know about me. I'm a lady, and I'm 80"

From Gibblertron Blog Photos

My kind of guy

This gentleman was walking with me for a really long while down La Cienega. He talked so quietly, I did not understand a thing he said. But I hope he was talking about his new Target racing sleeveless button down.

From Gibblertron Blog Photos

Tips for staying thin

It's not fair that I keep my staying thin secrets to myself, so here they are:

#1 Mental blocking

If you tell yourself you're not hungry, or better yet, have someone close to you tell you you shouldn't be eating something, you'll really be surprised how quickly you can shed some pounds.

#2 Self hatred

Stand naked in the Equinox West Hollywood locker rooms and constantly compare your butt, boobs and stomach to ladies who are genetically superior to you. Be inconspicuous though. You may accidentally find yourself in an awkward naked lesbian situation.

#3 Choice is the enemy

If you don't buy cookies for your house, you won't eat cookies in your house. Plain and simple. When you want a cookie, get upset and cry about your lack of cookies, then once that's over, chill out with some sweet ass unsalted almonds.

#4 Pills

Do drugs that don't make you hungry.

Show some respect

From Gibblertron Blog Photos

Rental Car

The Mazda M3. Complete with jerky gear shifting, stale body smell, and empty windshield wiper fluid tank.

From Gibblertron Blog Photos