Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Redneck Liberal

Once upon a time I was into joke songs. So much so that I started to write one. I thought, "You know what's funny about me? I'm from the South but I am also a liberal. That's pretty hilarious, right?". You can figure out where this fucking gem of a tune is going even as it peters out and dies toward the end. Oh and, it doesn't even rhyme. You're welcome.

Redneck Liberal
By Erin Gibson (in the past)

I put flow masters and a three inch lift on my hybrid
Yeah I could transform a suburban to run on vegetable oil but that don't make as big of a statement

I think fags should be able marry other fags and whores should be able to terminate their pregnancies

Put my Chimay in a bud light can, I cause I like what Bud stands for but I sure the hell don't want to drink it.

I euthanize my crawdaddies before I boil 'em cause coookin' something alive ain't very Buddhist.

You'll know it's my Vote for Obama bumper sticker I put on your Hummer cause they're Stubbs BBQ sauce all over it.

If you put on Hank Williams Junior while watching Inconvenient Truth some fucked up shit happens.

(then just some other dichotomies I dreamed up that would fit perfectly in this song)

Riding a horse while drinking wheatgrass

Mediating while at a wet t-shirt contest

Bringing my prize winning bovine to therapy

Skipping school to shoot .45's and when it's not my turn I just sit back and pick up good ol' Spalding Grey's "Monster in a Box"

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