Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Homeless Hookup

There are two well known people with some social problems I'd like to set up. They both live in Beverly Hills and I think they're perfect for each other. To be perfectly honest, I don't think that lack of money or social skills should preclude two people from seeking love.

Here's what I would say to each of them about the other to get them to have dinner together:

Hey Jermyn, I know you're busy roller skate dancing in front of an antiques store to old school rock on your boom box, but I want to tell you about someone. She's a blonde, about your age, and is in great shape. She loves to yell in a foreign language at cars stopped at red lights. She also loves to ask strangers about their ethnicity in the CVS pharmacy on Bevelry Dr. I call her "The Lady in Red" cause she's always wearing tight red excersice leotards. She loves to dance while listening to her walkman.

Hey Lady in Red, I'd like to stop pretending to take pictures of you while you pose to tell you about a guy you may be interested in. His name is Jermyn, and I'd be surprised if you haven't heard of him. He's a pretty popular Robertson Blvd. rollerskating dancer. He's in great shape, and I read that he gets a whopping 5% of the tee shirt line Kitson is selling with his image on it. I'm not sure if that's the fairest price, but according to an interview, he does not involve himself with matters of money. And he likes to dance, like you. It's pretty perfect if you ask me.

1 comment:

  1. Have I ever mentioned how glad I am that I live in Michigan where the weirdo factor is toned down considerably. Sure, I walk past the bus stop where the six and a half foot tall black man sings in a baritone voice at the top of his lungs every morning, but your sounds weirder than mine. Maybe I'll see if he does requests.