Rotten Tomatos Review -THE FINAL DESTINATION

I can't believe they used some of these jokes. Honestly. I am so impressed with RT's risk taking.



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Wolverine opened a day spa!

I'm so excited!

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Rotten Tomatos Review - IMAGINE THAT

This movie was the worst thing I've ever sat through, and I sat in the hospital for 10 hours during my mother's double mastectomy in a hospital with NO INTERNET!



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My burgeoning snarky TV career

Every coupla weeks I do a movie review for Current's Rotten Tomatoes.

The first one I did was for DANCE FLICK. We'll that's not true, the first one I did was for BROTHER'S BLOOM but I did such an awful job they used none of it. Then they gave me a second chance. Boy, they're glad they did. I mean, I'm glad they did.

10 songs I am embarassed/delighted to know the words to

#1 - Damn Yankees "High Enough?"

#2 - Def Leppard Every song on Hysteria

#3 - Skid Row "Big Guns"

#4 - Queensryche "Silent Lucidity"

#5 - Poison "Unskinny Bop"

#6 - Nelson "After the Rain"

#7 - Lita Ford/Ozzy Ozbourne "Close My Eyes Forever"

#8 - Cinderella "Gypsy Road"

#9 - Winger "Headed for a Heartbreak"


#10 - Nelson "(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection"

Models are Smart Pt. 1

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Top Notch Aliens

After watching District 9 last night, and falling in love with extraterrestrials all over again, I thought it would be fitting to compile a list of my favorite aliens.

#1 - Christopher Johnson - District 9
Wow, could there be a more engaging alien who speaks a language I don't understand? No?

He gets my #1 Alien vote for the following reasons:
Looking like a grasshopper
Being a good dad
Having a really smart alien brain

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#2 - ALF - The TV Show ALF
Despite the fact ALF was created from cocaine induced hallucinations, he's ok in my book. ALF is cuddly, non-threatening, and loves to talk. A lot like a nice guy on cocaine.

He gets my #2 Alien vote for the following reasons:
Eats cats
Very little visual leg exposure
Jewish

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#3 - Sigourney Weaver - Alien movies
Ok, so she's not an alien in real life, only in the movies. But she's pretty great and the fact that she gets so close to the two mouthed guys means she's got grande cojones.
She gets my #3 Alien vote for the following reasons:
Look at her, look like anyone you know (me?). I mean, she kind of proves my point that I am 1980's hot.
She's half alien, half human. This lady can multitask (high five!)

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#4 Everything about Event Horizon - the movie Event Horizon
This movie isn't really about aliens (ok, it isn't at all about aliens), but it takes place in space and is scary. Please see this movie if you like peeing on your couch.
This movie gets my #4 Alien vote for the following reasons:
I made this list and I chose to put it on here. It's position is arbitrary.

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#5 Mac - Mac and Me
Holy shit was this the biggest rip off of the 80's or what? So Mac is taller than ET? That's what makes him different? Or is it that the kid is disabled? I mean, c'mon! Plus, the people who made the movie put a freeze frame at the end that says "We'll be back". Like that's all it takes to greenlight a sequel.
He gets my #5 Alien vote for the following reason:
The aliens have no anuses.

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#6 I heart Huckabees - the whole movie and production
I like watching alien movies while under the influence of legalized marijuana. I also watch this movie while high.
Huckabees get's my #6 Alien vote for the following reasons:
Lilly Tomlin
I love pot

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