Pumpkin's! Fall's Gift (Funny or Die Blog #5)

Pumpkins are an underrated vegetable. Are they vegetables? I could look that up but quiet frankly, I am having problems looking things up on the Internet. Not because of my connection, no, no, that's fine. I just, well, every time I try to connect to the Internet it reminds me, for some reason, of that year I was held in a stranger's basement when I was twelve. The way that I aged by the time I was rescued by the authorities you would have thought three years went by! It would of taken me three years to get used to the way Carl talked to me and treated me, and I don't even know if that would have been enough. Point being, Carl had a computer in the house, and when he started letting me upstairs I would try to contact authorities but the connection was so slow and my windows of alone time so short that it just turned into a stressful situation. More stressful than being kept in a basement by a stranger if you can believe that. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Pumpkins. Wait, I think I'm sad. Yeah. I'm sad. I'm so detached from my emotions that I have to identify them out loud before i can have them. I better get unsad so I can get crackin' on this pumpkin fudge!!!