Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I hate LA Starbucks

Dear All Employees & Managers of LA Starbucks,

Are things that bad that you feel the need to take it out on my coffee? I don’t get it. All you have to make me a non-fat vanilla decaf latte in a timely manner that doesn’t suck. But you can’t do that! Why? I was in the valley yesterday and I had a coffee from the Starbucks on Ventura that was not only made licketty split but was so delicious I almost spit it out. That’s how much you have ruined me LA Starbucks. Jesus!

I am not a monster. I am not demanding things I think are unreasonable. I am demanding that you drop your ‘tudes and just do your job. And I’m not even saying “do your job” in a way that means you can’t gossip or have breaks. I am all for that shit! Just make the coffee right. You can do that and talk about “The Hills”. It’s possible! I promise you!

I am also not a snob. Wait, that’s not true. Please, please, I can’t buy lattes from McDonald’s.

PS – If anyone reading this knows of a Starbuck’s that makes delicious drinks, please let me know. But I will not drive west of the 405.

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