tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74883213380374758712011-08-01T11:21:47.159-07:00Menoreply@blogger.comBlogger911100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-65671861271166775802010-01-15T11:37:00.000-08:002010-01-15T11:38:22.268-08:00Hi there. I moved to <a href="http://www.gibblertron.com">tumblr. </a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-6567186127116677580?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-86827831287877667842009-10-24T23:58:00.001-07:002009-10-24T23:58:52.554-07:00In Chicago I was a personal assistant for a woman who was crazy. I don't know what her job was or if she even had one and she always paid me in cash. When I entered her house, I had to ring a Tingshas and say "Namaste" even if she wasn't in the room. Part of my job, besides watching her try on Tibetan prayer robes and tell her how young they made her look, was to remove all the labels from her products. Sometimes they would come off quickly, sometimes it would take a long time to soak them off and scrub off the glue with Goo Gone (people who value spiritual centeredness love Goo Gone). Apparently, in the past few weeks, my unconscious mind has been taking the labels off my lotions, face creams and deodorants. It’s just a matter of time until I need someone to come over and tell me how young I look in crappy, baggy pants. I think I just proved that this state of mind is not a personality defect, but rather a full on neurological disease. That may be contagious and take a long time to show symptoms.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8682783128787766784?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-80380286086579687282009-10-02T10:15:00.000-07:002009-10-02T10:15:00.138-07:00Pumpkins are an underrated vegetable. Are they vegetables? I could look that up but quiet frankly, I am having problems looking things up on the Internet. Not because of my connection, no, no, that's fine. I just, well, every time I try to connect to the Internet it reminds me, for some reason, of that year I was held in a stranger's basement when I was twelve. The way that I aged by the time I was rescued by the authorities you would have thought three years went by! It would of taken me three years to get used to the way Carl talked to me and treated me, and I don't even know if that would have been enough. Point being, Carl had a computer in the house, and when he started letting me upstairs I would try to contact authorities but the connection was so slow and my windows of alone time so short that it just turned into a stressful situation. More stressful than being kept in a basement by a stranger if you can believe that. What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Pumpkins. Wait, I think I'm sad. Yeah. I'm sad. I'm so detached from my emotions that I have to identify them out loud before i can have them. I better get unsad so I can get crackin' on this pumpkin fudge!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8038028608657968728?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-12580736825849463442009-10-01T10:13:00.000-07:002009-10-01T10:13:00.414-07:00I just got a new hair cut! Yes, I spent a little more than I wanted, but $100 is exactly what I would pay for for this perfect coif. I mean, I look like a million dollars so I kind of feel like i got away with highway robbery! Which is ironic because I got my hair done today because I am making a special visit to my sister at the Polk County Women's Prison. God Bless her, poor things been locked up in there for a crime which I believe her to be innocent of. She's in for murder, and I know she is innocent because while she was supposedly chocking an 8 year old girl to death, she and I were engaging in a violent round of fist-a-cuffs over who drank the last of the orange Gatorade. Cut to her murder trial where an eye witness id's her, and my facts, as they are coming from the mouth of her sister, look like a last ditch effort to save her from jail. So it's not really my fault, but I visit her every week anyways. Despite the fact that we never really got along in the first place and she's never happy to see me. Next time, I think I'll get hilights.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-1258073682584946344?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-58552233571069910412009-09-30T10:12:00.000-07:002009-09-30T10:12:00.644-07:00My contract with T-Mobile is up next month and I'm excited by the idea that I could get an iPhone. I've been using a Blackberry Curve for the past two years and it's served all of my needs, but there's something sexy about that iPhone! It's sleek and has lot of cool downloads. The only issue is that I've heard texting is not that easy, and I text a lot with my boyfriend. Gosh, I wonder if should be calling him that on a public forum! You see, he's married. Not the kind of married guy who is seperated. No, he and his wife live together. It's not an ideal situation, but I cope because he's pretty fantastic. What usually happens is he texts me something like "Wanna get tore up?" and I text back "Sure", then he comes over and we have a real romantic time. Often times he spends the night, which I also really enjoy. I guess he gets away with it because he's a suffers from alcohol induced amnesia or "blackouts", and his wife is pretty used to him not coming home at times. Which is a bonus for me! Not the part where he throws up in my bed and sometimes gets angry and kicks my Schnauzer, Toby Macguire , but all the other parts of him are bonus! One day I hope to meet his mom. She seems really nice. She lets "Steve" and his wife live with her even though her home is just a small two bedroom apartment. She was even nice enough to let them kick her out of the master bedroom and she set up shop in the cozy spare room. "Steve" says I should go with AT&T and "get the fucking iPhone and shut up about it already", but I'd like to do a little more comparison shopping.Any thoughts?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-5855223357106991041?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-81580218917362406822009-09-29T09:20:00.000-07:002009-09-29T09:20:00.169-07:00I have linoleum in my kitchen and I just came into some money, so I was thinking about putting in some tile. I honestly don't know where to start. Should I hire a contractor from a tile store or should I hire someone from Home Depot who obviously needs the job? Those poor day laborers stand out there all day waiting for work with no guarantees. It's really the least I could do. But at the same time I need someone who is skilled at installation to insure a proper job. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, sometimes cooking but mostly it's what I call my "cry zone". The kitchen is the best place for total meltdowns because it's wide open for when you really need to swing your arms but when you don't to actually break anything, the floor is usually cold, which helps for when I get super hot from crying violently, and the bonus of it all, when you're all done and you think you can finally go to bed or to work or just to the grocery store, the mascara lipstick and tears wipe up really easy with a damp paper towel. One thing's for sure about this renovation, I am definitely leaning towards ceramics or porcelain.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8158021891736240682?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-58069695572899923752009-09-28T09:17:00.000-07:002009-09-28T09:17:00.296-07:00Diners are an American institution, just like baseball, champagne and cars. I myself will never turn my nose up when a diner is presented as an option for food. You know why? 'Cause diners are full of nostalgia & classic American eating arrangements. They also are famous for delicious pancakes and waffles. You know, my family always went to diners. I mean, we could afford to go to much nicer places but my father had such little respect for my mother that he, knowing he was in the power superior position, due to his earning potential, would make us eat there. We could have been eating steak for breakfast but instead he chose to punish my sister and I along with my mother for her habitual affairs. I can't blame her though, he was distant and she was needy, so to expect her to stay faithful to him was a tall order. Looking past my father's alien good looks, he was a lot to handle with is power issues and his dabbling in S&M (which we only found out about later, when we came home from a three day cheer leading competition in Baton Rouge to find him locked in the hall closet wearing sissy pants and a ball gag). The point being, I think the best diner has to be Waffle House. Best cheese grits that have ever graced my mouth.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-5806969557289992375?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-48842021617675526292009-09-25T12:05:00.000-07:002009-09-25T12:05:00.184-07:00You know what, ultimately , not enough gay jokes for me. <br /><br /><object id="ce_90441886" width="400" height="226" data="http://current.com/e/90441886/en_US"><param name="movie" value="http://current.com/e/90441886/en_US"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://current.com/e/90441886/en_US" width="400" height="226" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://current.com/items/90441886_br-no-reviewed-by-the-rotten-tomatoes-show.htm"> Click here if player missing</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4884202161767552629?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-6062044140393149462009-09-24T12:04:00.000-07:002009-09-24T12:04:00.747-07:00I love Sandra Bullock. That's it. She could poop on the floor and I would clap. <br /><br /><object id="ce_90281693" width="400" height="226" data="http://current.com/e/90281693/en_US"><param name="movie" value="http://current.com/e/90281693/en_US"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://current.com/e/90281693/en_US" width="400" height="226" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://current.com/items/90281693_the-proposal-reviewed-by-the-rotten-tomatoes-show.htm">Click here if player does not appear</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-606204414039314946?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-67537362202972353902009-09-23T12:07:00.000-07:002009-09-23T12:07:00.370-07:00I can't believe they used some of these jokes. Honestly. I am so impressed with RT's risk taking. <br /><br /><object id="ce_90859258" width="400" height="226" data="http://current.com/e/90859258/en_US"><param name="movie" value="http://current.com/e/90859258/en_US"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://current.com/e/90859258/en_US" width="400" height="226" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://current.com/items/90860359_the-final-destination-big-fan-halloween-ii-the-rotten-tomatoes-show.htm">Click here if player does not appear. </a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-6753736220297235390?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-48543430833226734212009-09-21T13:52:00.000-07:002009-09-21T13:52:00.340-07:00I'm so excited! <br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/Iz9qe79DLiMSIT4nnXKPGA?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/Sq2hwIMJy0I/AAAAAAAA7fk/DAMfdWuWysg/s800/Wolverine%20Day%20Spa.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4854343083322673421?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-79018624134635092142009-09-17T12:02:00.000-07:002009-09-17T12:02:00.529-07:00This movie was the worst thing I've ever sat through, and I sat in the hospital for 10 hours during my mother's double mastectomy in a hospital with NO INTERNET! <br /><br /><object id="ce_90228482" width="400" height="225" data="http://current.com/e/90228482/en_US"><param name="movie" value="http://current.com/e/90228482/en_US"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://current.com/e/90228482/en_US" width="400" height="225" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" ></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://current.com/items/90124922_dance-flick-reviewed-by-the-rotten-tomatoes-show.htm">Click here if player does not appear. </a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-7901862413463509214?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-74033277626537434722009-09-16T11:48:00.000-07:002009-09-16T18:02:31.292-07:00Every coupla weeks I do a movie review for Current's Rotten Tomatoes. <br /><br />The first one I did was for DANCE FLICK. We'll that's not true, the first one I did was for BROTHER'S BLOOM but I did such an awful job they used none of it. Then they gave me a second chance. Boy, they're glad they did. I mean, I'm glad they did. <br /><br /><object id="ce_90124922" width="400" height="225" data="http://current.com/e/90124922/en_US"><param name="movie" value="http://current.com/e/90124922/en_US"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://current.com/e/90124922/en_US" width="400" height="225" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" ></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-7403327762653743472?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-28324723726179231152009-09-15T18:17:00.000-07:002009-09-15T18:17:00.664-07:00#1 - Damn Yankees "High Enough?"<br /><br />#2 - Def Leppard Every song on Hysteria<br /><br />#3 - Skid Row "Big Guns"<br /><br />#4 - Queensryche "Silent Lucidity"<br /><br />#5 - Poison "Unskinny Bop"<br /><br />#6 - Nelson "After the Rain"<br /><br />#7 - Lita Ford/Ozzy Ozbourne "Close My Eyes Forever"<br /><br />#8 - Cinderella "Gypsy Road"<br /><br />#9 - Winger "Headed for a Heartbreak"<br /><br /><br />#10 - Nelson "(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection"<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-2832472372617923115?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-69711748139178983432009-09-14T10:26:00.000-07:002009-09-14T10:55:03.909-07:00<table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/C9eMjb-Lwh52m7QYAsiSGw?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/Sq2l1UnMqFI/AAAAAAAA7g0/yvlgcOC3qIs/s800/IMG1%20copy.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-6971174813917898343?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-47844083555024393112009-08-18T09:25:00.000-07:002009-08-19T07:32:05.615-07:00After watching District 9 last night, and falling in love with extraterrestrials all over again, I thought it would be fitting to compile a list of my favorite aliens. <br /><br />#1 - Christopher Johnson - District 9<br />Wow, could there be a more engaging alien who speaks a language I don't understand? No? <br /><br />He gets my #1 Alien vote for the following reasons:<br />Looking like a grasshopper<br />Being a good dad<br />Having a really smart alien brain<br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/-h3xZnWtnS9dw_BDRvB3kw?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SouA7g5ISsI/AAAAAAAA7ZQ/DgvxSxzZnDM/s400/090527_025.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><br /><br />#2 - ALF - The TV Show ALF<br />Despite the fact ALF was created from cocaine induced hallucinations, he's ok in my book. ALF is cuddly, non-threatening, and loves to talk. A lot like a nice guy on cocaine. <br /><br />He gets my #2 Alien vote for the following reasons:<br />Eats cats<br />Very little visual leg exposure<br />Jewish<br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/DPku5V1ELNFHPDzGhUhgWA?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SouA8ERz_5I/AAAAAAAA7Zc/NztZkL7Eet4/s800/images.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><br /><br />#3 - Sigourney Weaver - Alien movies<br />Ok, so she's not an alien in real life, only in the movies. But she's pretty great and the fact that she gets so close to the two mouthed guys means she's got grande cojones. <br />She gets my #3 Alien vote for the following reasons:<br />Look at her, look like anyone you know (me?). I mean, she kind of proves my point that I am 1980's hot. <br />She's half alien, half human. This lady can multitask (high five!) <br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/zkk91zcUKppWyJ2tqXTJeg?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SouA72z38GI/AAAAAAAA7ZU/kevoyGFUWBQ/s400/ellen-ripley-aliens-2.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><br /><br />#4 Everything about Event Horizon - the movie Event Horizon<br />This movie isn't really about aliens (ok, it isn't at all about aliens), but it takes place in space and is scary. Please see this movie if you like peeing on your couch. <br />This movie gets my #4 Alien vote for the following reasons:<br />I made this list and I chose to put it on here. It's position is arbitrary. <br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/2d6Es8clHW5tvilZ4BEytg?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SouA78b_EoI/AAAAAAAA7ZY/3OKig3w65WY/s800/event-horizon-1.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><br /><br />#5 Mac - Mac and Me<br />Holy shit was this the biggest rip off of the 80's or what? So Mac is taller than ET? That's what makes him different? Or is it that the kid is disabled? I mean, c'mon! Plus, the people who made the movie put a freeze frame at the end that says "We'll be back". Like that's all it takes to greenlight a sequel. <br />He gets my #5 Alien vote for the following reason:<br />The aliens have no anuses. <br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/TZXRJbak54W9KcShrQcGgA?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SouEJeNDnxI/AAAAAAAA7aM/FM-MZ04vZEw/s400/MacCokeHeal.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><br /><br />#6 I heart Huckabees - the whole movie and production<br />I like watching alien movies while under the influence of legalized marijuana. I also watch this movie while high. <br />Huckabees get's my #6 Alien vote for the following reasons:<br />Lilly Tomlin<br />I love pot<br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/t88x4JRVwOuxPFTRwxOpvA?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SouA7qyLhvI/AAAAAAAA7ZM/ALm5UmdO9_4/s400/41218_3.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4784408355502439311?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-46123268847554982222009-07-23T10:14:00.000-07:002009-07-23T10:14:00.347-07:00<table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/hEBrKnLhnbp9PF3zPdzsuw?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SmP6FwPYfXI/AAAAAAAA7L0/b345dr_cYnc/s400/IMG00275.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4612326884755498222?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-84424681030463494272009-07-22T10:13:00.000-07:002009-07-22T10:13:00.634-07:00"There's only two thing you need to know about me. I'm a lady, and I'm 80"<br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/NAWu-KSqiMD1k4RxbrxzjQ?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SmP6Fq5hSEI/AAAAAAAA7Lw/0Fr46oZnQ-s/s400/IMG00264.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8442468103046349427?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-35876608281371593042009-07-21T10:00:00.000-07:002009-07-21T10:00:03.372-07:00This gentleman was walking with me for a really long while down La Cienega. He talked so quietly, I did not understand a thing he said. But I hope he was talking about his new Target racing sleeveless button down. <br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/KAA22VT_SD1FBy7MMhxBJQ?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SmP6Fvx-a0I/AAAAAAAA7Ls/DnzT7pkW8Wg/s400/IMG00260.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3587660828137159304?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-3866128865288947622009-07-20T13:10:00.000-07:002009-07-21T08:56:07.634-07:00It's not fair that I keep my staying thin secrets to myself, so here they are:<br /><br />#1 Mental blocking<br /><br />If you tell yourself you're not hungry, or better yet, have someone close to you tell you you shouldn't be eating something, you'll really be surprised how quickly you can shed some pounds. <br /><br />#2 Self hatred<br /><br />Stand naked in the Equinox West Hollywood locker rooms and constantly compare your butt, boobs and stomach to ladies who are genetically superior to you. Be inconspicuous though. You may accidentally find yourself in an awkward naked lesbian situation. <br /><br />#3 Choice is the enemy <br /><br />If you don't buy cookies for your house, you won't eat cookies in your house. Plain and simple. When you want a cookie, get upset and cry about your lack of cookies, then once that's over, chill out with some sweet ass unsalted almonds. <br /><br />#4 Pills<br /><br />Do drugs that don't make you hungry.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-386612886528894762?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-54668792700291617142009-07-18T12:48:00.000-07:002009-07-18T12:48:00.507-07:00<table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/NaP1vDIOLk52-Btrh4Wa4g?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/Sl-DQHUMb1I/AAAAAAAA7Ko/sBi-Op4SaGc/s400/IMG00254.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-5466879270029161714?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-88706762308039771012009-07-17T12:47:00.000-07:002009-07-17T12:47:01.004-07:00The Mazda M3. Complete with jerky gear shifting, stale body smell, and empty windshield wiper fluid tank. <br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/IXrvGJpNbLZLYvOd2O8klg?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/Sl-DPyTQjJI/AAAAAAAA7Kk/CpGPD-GQ6m4/s400/IMG00247.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8870676230803977101?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-1995108433955386232009-07-16T12:39:00.000-07:002009-07-16T12:40:34.474-07:00Should this person be operating a vehicle?<br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/rBVSCkgJqiuVE-j_dOvIig?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/Sl-B1xhAI_I/AAAAAAAA7KE/P350qTr_cLo/s400/IMG00237.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-199510843395538623?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-8335665095007451142009-07-06T12:21:00.000-07:002009-07-06T12:23:09.349-07:00Stop being vague fortune cookie!!! I need to know!! I love being in a good position. If I only knew when, or where or in regards to what! <br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/kfP11wkdekmUZEX6PqiBTg?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SlJOHM_sp2I/AAAAAAAA65k/5VSoJ4lI-9k/s400/IMG00236.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-833566509500745114?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-87999286559802010422009-07-01T11:26:00.000-07:002009-07-02T01:00:56.519-07:00Think about it. Think about all the other stuff that has to go on your kitchen counter top - toaster, coffee maker, microwave. Then, if you have any room left over, you have to use it to actually set things down. But if you're rich, and you have a big kitchen, you can dedicate kitchen real estate to your juicer! A specialty appliance used to make special drinks that you may or may not drink everyday. That's luxury!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8799928655980201042?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-89198540434811769982009-06-30T10:07:00.000-07:002009-06-30T10:07:01.260-07:00How come when someone busts me on wearing the same outfit two days in a row or not showering I feel like I've done something horrible, when in fact, I have not. Not showering is ok. Actually, it's not really great for you to wash your body everyday. Your skin, like, hates it. So let's all make a pact that it's ok to not shower everyday (unless your job involves sweating all day). Whose in?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8919854043481176998?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-38778069904072532602009-06-29T10:05:00.001-07:002009-06-29T10:07:46.787-07:00In 'n Out burger is like the Pacific Ocean to me. It's very close, so I never go there. But as soon as I am away from it, I romanticize my relationship with it. <br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/C6Zcv7RUdkTRgfV0CaDu9w?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/Skj0mZ_FzfI/AAAAAAAA6Yw/FaysnH1Yt1U/s400/IMG00225.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/Gibblertron?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3877806990407253260?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-55170321069344598182009-06-26T12:57:00.000-07:002009-07-02T00:59:23.721-07:00<object id="ce_90281693" width="400" height="226" data="http://current.com/e/90281693/en_US"><param name="movie" value="http://current.com/e/90281693/en_US"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://current.com/e/90281693/en_US" width="400" height="226" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-5517032106934459818?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-27075011558020259762009-06-25T09:18:00.000-07:002009-06-25T09:18:02.283-07:00This is the photo I took while trying to take a photo of a guy with a parrot on his shoulder while I was driving. <br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/UgSvkYfsTfdULOjIfNvojw?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SkF-Pddj8eI/AAAAAAAA1JA/jm6uR_Xjew4/s288/IMG00218.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-2707501155802025976?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-46569524461921332492009-06-24T09:17:00.000-07:002009-06-24T09:17:02.341-07:00Look what this building did to Johnny Depp's beautiful face:<br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/3B-d9ze-qsSduM6bgIp_4g?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SkF-PLDH1qI/AAAAAAAA1I8/wocbrN1B4EE/s288/IMG00217.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4656952446192133249?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-43687983849526161872009-06-22T13:37:00.000-07:002009-06-22T13:37:00.261-07:00In the morning, when the alarm clock wakes me up, I curse it. Not like in my head, out loud. Cursing, raging, screaming “Why is this happening to me?”. Getting up in the morning is like having a cupcake ripped out of my mouth and having acid poured in its place. It’s awful. You know why? Cause sleep is brilliant. <br /><br />I have anxiety attacks every night before I go to sleep. They’re vague anxiety attacks, mostly about dying and someone breaking in or not setting my alarm and not waking up on time for something. These anxiety attacks keep me up for an hour past the moment I lay my head on the pillow. So when I get to sleep, I am so happy. I think. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m happy. If sleep weren’t so enjoyable, why else would my body and mind react so violently to waking up? I mean, there’s no other explanation other than sleep is the most awesome thing ever invented by God. Other than the Internet, which, let’s face it, is pretty great.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4368798384952616187?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-3171609801222400232009-06-19T13:41:00.000-07:002009-06-19T13:41:02.033-07:00I made this with Jason Axinn. <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VZ24DJfSdGg&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VZ24DJfSdGg&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-317160980122240023?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-52684413553467709392009-06-18T11:41:00.000-07:002009-06-18T11:41:01.099-07:00There I said it! It feels so nice to get it out there. I. Hate. Pizza. <br /><br />Yeah, that’s right, besides flags, I hate the other thing that American’s most love. Pizza is gross. It’s cheese and bread and symbolizes the only two things that are wrong with this country:<br /><br />Lack of self control – You think you should be able to eat pizza whenever you want? Wrong! It’s a food item that is designed to destroy you. First, with it’s power packed carbs and secondly with it’s artery blocking greasy cheese. The same reason people eat pizza is the same reason people buy Hummers. Cause they wannna!!! <br /><br />Bargains – Bargains are 99% of the time the wrong choice for you. The same reason you shouldn’t buy an ugly shirt because it’s on sale is the same reason you shouldn’t eat a whole slice of pizza cause it’s cheap. The shirt you’ll just keep in the closet and the pizza you’ll poop out over the course of the entire next day, in soft, cat poop like skinny stringy bowl movements. <br /><br />I hate pizza and I hate America<br /><br />*** Please note, because of my lactose intolerance I am apt to hate on things because my body simply cannot digest them. I wish I could eat pizza, but I can’t (see the section about soft cat poop). So instead, I will attack the people who can and pizza itself. Thank you.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-5268441355346770939?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-49253161037429164492009-06-17T13:21:00.000-07:002009-06-17T13:21:00.794-07:00Secrets are fun because they are just for you! Like when you cheat on a person who you took a vow in front of a signifigant number of family members to honor and respect and love for the rest of your. But after you got married that person somehow became your gay best friend, and you both get that he’s gay, but no one is calling out the elephant in the room. So you’re still having somewhat enjoyable, albeit infrequent sex, because you care for each other. A level of care that allows both of you to have an orgasm. Then one day, you talk about what would happen if one of you cheated and your husband gets really upset and starts crying, because the thought of you with another man rips him up inside. Even though the thought of him with another man ripping him up inside seems right. So you’re blind sighted by this because you already started sleeping with a guy you are having really great sex with. It’s a relationship that allows you to have everything you want – a best friend to raise kids with and an awesome sex life. Because you don’t want to marry the dude who you are fucking, cause even though he’s this really sexy kind of nerd hot, you know the kind, Oliver Peoples glasses, skinny arms, face like Harry Potter but more chiseled, wears lilac American Apparel underwear that are three degrees away from being ladies panties, which is pretty sexy. You don’t want to marry that guy cause he writes poetry everywhere on his Facebook, even in the high school name field and is always sending you love songs with a stupid “Spanish Guitar Ballad” app and you can’t deal with that long term. But the guy who you’re married to is also hot, hot in a gay way, cause he is gay, but he loves Lost and wears Calvin Klein boxer briefs and hates fantasy fiction and loves clean countertops and loves kids and you and gets that when you tell him a stupid joke you know it’s stupid, and he laughs cause he totally gets why you’re saying it. And you love him and he loves you. But you can’t hurt him. So you have to keep your secret. Forever.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4925316103742916449?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-58453499733951292222009-06-16T10:59:00.000-07:002009-06-16T10:59:01.307-07:00You decide what business this lady runs:<br /><br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/P1Gsp4xOMwnG59HcYe_RLw?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SjaMBcJkOeI/AAAAAAAAyUw/xDwYS_07JQE/s144/IMG00191.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-5845349973395129222?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-3601760524754718852009-06-16T09:18:00.000-07:002009-06-16T09:19:05.827-07:00Dear All Employees & Managers of LA Starbucks, <br /><br />Are things that bad that you feel the need to take it out on my coffee? I don’t get it. All you have to make me a non-fat vanilla decaf latte in a timely manner that doesn’t suck. But you can’t do that! Why? I was in the valley yesterday and I had a coffee from the Starbucks on Ventura that was not only made licketty split but was so delicious I almost spit it out. That’s how much you have ruined me LA Starbucks. Jesus! <br /><br />I am not a monster. I am not demanding things I think are unreasonable. I am demanding that you drop your ‘tudes and just do your job. And I’m not even saying “do your job” in a way that means you can’t gossip or have breaks. I am all for that shit! Just make the coffee right. You can do that and talk about “The Hills”. It’s possible! I promise you! <br /><br />I am also not a snob. Wait, that’s not true. Please, please, I can’t buy lattes from McDonald’s. <br /><br />PS – If anyone reading this knows of a Starbuck’s that makes delicious drinks, please let me know. But I will not drive west of the 405.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-360176052475471885?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-31153208332940886872009-06-15T12:06:00.000-07:002009-06-15T12:06:00.573-07:00I love guns<br /><br />To look at me, you’d think “Oh, now there’s a lady who loves puppies and shoes and Bobbi Brown winter travel palettes. “But you’d be wrong, but not about the things I just listed, those things are spot on. Ok, so you wouldn’t be wrong, you’d be almost right, because there’s one thing you’re missing when listing the four adjectives that sum me up completely. I. Love.Guns. <br /><br />I grew up in Texas. In Texas, it ‘s kind of important that you know about guns so that you don’t get extradited to California, where you can live with the other “gun hating faggots” (Texas’ words, not mine). I held a gun in my hands while I still had braces on my teeth, making me the most bad ass 5 foot 11 inch, braces wearing teen lady who had the bold inclination to wear button down jean shirts with similarly rinsed jeans, and top that motherfucker off with a Mickey Mouse tie.<br /><br />The first gun I ever held in my hand was a single action revolver. A cowboy from my high school took a liking to me and snuck me off during lunch to his piece of land, aka homestead, aka, property to shoot cans. The gun felt so natural in my hand, as if my palm had been developing in a way that one day would suit it to fit into this gun perfectly. That or that guns were made to fit into hands. Either way, it was love at first grip. <br /><br />It would be 6 years before I would shoot another gun. This time it was a Jericho 941single action handgun. My boyfriend at the time, ex army, present AFLAC supplementary insurance salesman, had taken me into the woods so that we could consummate our love in nature. And so he could kill dear. While he was out murdering animals, I was loading a clip into a handgun that flooded me with the emotions like what I imagine it would feel like to be reunited with a child I had abandoned, but then found on Friendster, then met at a coffee shop and then kept in contact with. <br /><br />Guns and I could have been great friends. But then my Hollywood aspirations got in the way. There’s no time in Hollywood to shoot guns. Not only that, I don’t own any guns or have access to the type of guys who own guns, who I could sleep with to get close to their guns. All I want in my life is to feel the soft grip of molded metal, and the power to take a human life, in my hands once again. <br /><br />And for Scoops Ice Cream shop to be open past 6 on a Sunday. C’mon Scoops, people need their ice cream on a Sunday evening!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3115320833294088687?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-1196919065826178642009-06-04T20:53:00.000-07:002009-06-04T20:55:07.893-07:00Help me to remember to write that sketch where kids in a kids show pop out from between naked guys legs to say their name. The funny thing about this is the idea of kids with dicks on their heads.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-119691906582617864?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-79787405386683056872009-06-02T08:36:00.000-07:002009-06-02T08:46:45.420-07:00Awesome. From Paper magazine. <br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/xOtvq3Jq1_5ZJ34qCtNKJQ?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SiVH4dreP4I/AAAAAAAAyQg/0uFLcVQS_Eo/s288/IMG.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-7978740538668305687?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-84603704368613966722009-05-31T17:11:00.000-07:002009-05-31T17:11:00.604-07:00Worldwide Gross $355,264,799<br />+ US DVD Sales $27,622,523<br />- Production Budget $14,000,000<br />_______________________________<br />$368,887332 Net<br /><br /><br />You can buy a home in India for anywhere from $6,000 to $45,000. Now, that being said, why were the two youngest actors in Slumdog Millionaire homeless after the government demoloshed the slum they were living in? Why were they not paid for the success of the movie? Why were they still living in slums after all the criticism that they were still living in the slums after the Oscars?<br /><br />The characters in the movie get a fairy tale ending but the actors, they do not.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8460370436861396672?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-28242126063987939072009-05-30T15:23:00.000-07:002009-05-30T15:39:45.656-07:00Moving to NYC from LA or vice versa and need to know what neighborhood is right for you? I've made this handy comparison chart to make your decision easier! <br /><br />Alphabet City = Echo Park<br />5th Avenue = Century City<br />Chelsea = WeHo<br />Upper East Side = Beverly Hills<br />Upper West Side = Santa Monica<br />SoHo = Silverlake<br />TriBeCa = Hollywood Hills<br />Greenwich Village = Los Feliz<br />Broadway = Hollywood <br />Chinatown = Chinatown<br />Little Italy = Little Armenia<br />Greenwich Village = Larchmont Village<br />Harlem = Compton<br />Long Island = The Valley<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-2824212606398793907?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-49821463561378505442009-05-28T20:20:00.000-07:002009-05-28T20:22:33.387-07:00Wow, can you get more LA than walking to the gym? So I get a 25 minute uphill warmup walk. then I take a hard core class, then I walk home. I mean, seriously, I may waste away. A look good while doing it (high five).<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4982146356137850544?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-31331866973803594962009-05-01T12:06:00.000-07:002009-05-01T12:20:31.763-07:00Blieden talked me into getting a colonic (photos below). What came out of my body was as gross as it was interesting. If you can stand the sensation of needing to poop for 45 minutes, I think you should definitely have this done. <br /><br />HOW IT GOES IN YOUR BUTT:<br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/rP1L27jcuq_NHgfRRt3Qew?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SftIuXtcjGI/AAAAAAAAxzY/J8qiF6R_AdE/s400/postoperative_colonic_lavage_engl.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><br /><br />THE MACHINE - THE CLEAR TUBE IS WHERE YOU WATCH POOP COME OUT:<br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/jalZJ-4oiM65mx3Etp30kQ?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SftKcO0G_oI/AAAAAAAAxz4/-QnEikqxLxo/s400/hydro-san.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3133186697380359496?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-91937857348602669632009-04-24T23:47:00.000-07:002009-04-24T23:52:05.860-07:00I almost considered staying on the East side for Jill's Paint Shop. It's a-fucking-dorable in there. Two giggly twin brothers who work there love to gag around (my kind of people) while they're talking to you about semi-glosses and satins. One of them is a sommelier, and at 4PM they have wine tastings in the back. <br /><br />While I was there they had frozen chicken tenders delivered. What's not to love?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-9193785734860266963?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-81481522696220851152009-04-23T13:13:00.000-07:002009-04-23T13:17:05.431-07:00<span style="font-weight:bold;">HOME</span><br /><br />I like Home cause when you're planning to go there to eat and one of your friends doesn't know about it, it makes the conversation really confusing. <br /><br />"So meet you at your house?"<br />"No, Home"<br />"So your house?"<br />"No the restaurant"<br />"The restaurant named Home?"<br />"Yes"<br /><br />Also, they have huge portions. I had breakfast there this morning and took the other half home and am about to enjoy it as lunch. It's outdoors, but be weary on Sundays. Hung over hipsters try to sneak drags of cigarettes on the open patio and talk really loudly because their ears are still recovering from The Echo. <br /><br />"The echo, like in a big loud cave?"<br />"No, the small music club"<br />"Oh, ok"<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8148152269622085115?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-3182125265033467472009-04-23T09:04:00.000-07:002009-04-23T09:04:01.529-07:00I am officially moving further West. The weekly need to go to Santa Monica for one reason or another is driving me bananas. Plus, I want to be walking distance to my gym on La Cienega (6 pack abs people). However, despite the close proximity to the Smith machine, I will miss the adorable things here in Los Feliz/Silverlake. Such as.....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Sunset Pho</span><br /><br />In all honesty, I'll probably still drive to this place once a week. Pho Cafe has no sign, is full of dirty hipsters and is super sleek. I heart it. Except that it's cash only. I love it cause it's clean inside, they just installed AC, it's super yummy and super healthy. <br /><br />This is a photo of my friend Joe, from Chicago, enjoying Pho. <br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/8M-l2HdVu_a9lbbgFGwSpQ?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/Se_u0_nZV6I/AAAAAAAAxo4/V5YeUYK9w44/s400/n510080646_5972941_3135.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-318212526503346747?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-85854829061124804842009-04-09T15:23:00.001-07:002009-04-09T15:24:28.056-07:00While doing mom research, and wearing this scarf:<br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/q0v_XjaF2LWo_ALpq1iONQ?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/Sd50ySmiz-I/AAAAAAAAxRw/oBIqG3hzTAs/s400/Photo%203.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><br /><br />I saw this in Redbook:<br /><br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/r8iicYXp2JuK-P7ljF9tFw?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/Sd50yrj_EPI/AAAAAAAAxR4/NHLdTzr3K9c/s400/IMG_0001.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8585482906112480484?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-9366306316054006732009-04-08T09:47:00.000-07:002009-04-08T09:48:06.608-07:00When something goes missing, don't blame the cleaning crew. Find out who near you has a trust fund. I bet you find the culprit.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-936630631605400673?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-1411743847713472412009-03-17T10:12:00.000-07:002009-03-17T10:12:00.631-07:00Do stripper's babies wear clear diapers?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-141174384771347241?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-64477552345982187092009-03-15T22:08:00.000-07:002009-03-15T22:11:59.342-07:00It's weird to watch Nosferatu while using the Internet, because I imagine silent movies were as awesome to the people of the day as the Internet is today and it's creepy to think those things are meeting in my bedroom.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-6447755234598218709?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-30358154780393921742009-03-09T15:57:00.000-07:002009-03-09T15:57:00.832-07:00311 came on just as I was passing Chad Sexton's Drum City. That is no coincidence.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3035815478039392174?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-46829682872749119382009-03-06T13:47:00.000-08:002009-03-06T13:47:01.070-08:00The ladies at my gym are all unnaturally good looking, but they all kind of look the same. If one of them were to steal from me, I would not be able to pick her out of a line up. Also, you know those are exactly the kind of people who steal shit. People who are handed everything because they're beautiful so they have to create their own drama by becoming criminals.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4682968287274911938?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-50623378719301914982009-03-05T11:23:00.000-08:002009-03-05T11:23:00.275-08:00Is there a competition to see which girl knows the words to "Unskinny Bop" or any other kind of Poison related trivia? I am seriously wondering.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-5062337871930191498?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-50335428703582512622009-03-04T14:54:00.000-08:002009-03-04T14:54:00.702-08:001. Admit when you have a problem. A good sign is when you read the DirectTv description, something like, "Benson may be the next target of a man with a history of raping powerful women" and you know exactly what happens. <br /><br />2. Delete season passes to SVU and vanilla Law and Order, on NBC, TNT, and USA. <br /><br />3. Replace your Benson and Stabler screen saver with a picture of people you actually know. <br /><br />4. Do not start watching other crime shows, such as "The First 48", "Rookies" or even "Miami Vice".<br /><br />5. Join a photography class. Or start doing yoga. Anything to fill up the extra 5 hours you'll enjoy daily. <br /><br />6. Do not go on any dates with cops or lawyers or let anyone in your family do so.<br /><br />7. Follow all laws! Do not run the risk of coming face to face with a real life cop. You will fall off the wagon. <br /><br />8. TiVo lighthearted shows like "Will and Grace". <br /><br />9. Do not visit New York City. <br /><br />10. Cancel your Internet.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-5033542870358251262?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-42263378818468194782009-03-03T10:46:00.000-08:002009-03-02T23:03:40.508-08:00Saturdays are for errands and ice cream.<br />Sunday are for spin class and bolognese. <br />Mondays are for job searching and white tee shirts. <br />Tuesdays are for petting stranger's dogs and lunch with Tim Saccardo.<br />Wednesdays are for doctor visits and chicken tikka masala. <br />Thursdays are for jump ropes and car washes. <br />Fridays are for pigtails and sandwiches.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4226337881846819478?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-3242706207424321812009-02-28T21:11:00.000-08:002009-02-28T21:14:06.626-08:00Today when the kid who lives in the back part of the property decided that he and his friend were gonna play spies on our front porch, I deployed the old "adults being weird" situation. I started yelling at Marisa about how it sucks that I went over my text allowance on my phone service. I peppered it with curse words and gregarious arm gestures. Three loud sentences later, no mas ninos.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-324270620742432181?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-71955448903093360422009-02-28T12:29:00.000-08:002009-02-28T12:29:00.587-08:00I went to amend Jennie CC's (my manager's) contact information and I thought I had copied the correct spelling of her new management company, but when I hit paste, here's what I had copied instead:<br /><br />Hannah Montana: Best Of Both Worlds Concert<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-7195544890309336042?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-91634901438811439392009-02-27T13:16:00.000-08:002009-02-27T13:16:01.403-08:00Do not fall for the $5 foot long deal! It is buffet mentality! You will either eat too much or throw away a soggy 3 hour half sandwich later.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-9163490143881143939?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-43126799168812756992009-02-26T15:53:00.000-08:002009-02-26T15:55:44.021-08:00I'm working on a new character called "Prospector Girlfriend". It's probably one of the best characters ever thought of, which is why I am leaving it as a concept.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4312679916881275699?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-34906269828271879022009-02-18T15:15:00.000-08:002009-02-18T15:17:08.987-08:00Dear Orthodox Jews, <br /><br />If you're wearing a shitty wig while walking down Beverly Blvd. I'm gonna look. So don't be surprised.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3490626982827187902?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-32321507816764637662009-02-17T10:04:00.000-08:002009-02-17T10:04:00.955-08:00I wear a robe, which i refer to as a "Snuggie with self respect".<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3232150781676463766?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-33734628674740772222009-02-16T10:02:00.000-08:002009-02-16T10:04:20.585-08:00If you walk blindfolded into a room and smelled macaroni and cheese then someone told you there was no macaroni and cheese, you would get grossed out. But, if you walked blindfolded into a room and smelled macaroni and cheese and someone told you there was a hot bowl of it right in front of you, you would get hungry.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3373462867474077222?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-2597898097111691082009-02-15T13:42:00.000-08:002009-02-15T13:42:00.328-08:00"Do you want to meet rich boys on a higher level?"<br />-- Two girls at Bird's<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-259789809711169108?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-27351621550124221612009-02-14T13:41:00.000-08:002009-02-14T13:41:01.488-08:00You know what's worse than being hit by a car? Being in a wedding.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-2735162155012422161?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-80411818524301932282009-02-13T13:38:00.000-08:002009-02-13T13:38:00.261-08:00Would anyone really care if, to put them out of their own misery and despair, I poisoned the homeless with crackers? I mean would anyone <span style="font-weight:bold;">really</span> care? Like enough to pick up the phone and turn me in? I mean really think about what kind of effort it would take to turn me in. Plus sitting at a police station, telling them, then testifying in court. It's a big commitment.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8041181852430193228?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-81667660153925093522009-02-12T13:35:00.000-08:002009-02-12T13:35:19.613-08:00I've come up with another new diet called the "concrete diet". Right after you take a bite out of, let's say a piece of fried chicken, the rest of the chicken turns into concrete. The great thing about this diet is that you still get one bite of something delicious.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8166766015392509352?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-42683137174902392152009-02-11T13:33:00.000-08:002009-02-11T13:33:00.828-08:00If you're leaving a restaurant but you're not done with your pinot noir, ask for a to go cup. What tastes better than fine wine out of Styrofoam? Nothing.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4268313717490239215?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-4110023559266165142009-02-10T13:31:00.000-08:002009-02-10T13:31:00.620-08:00If you're ever at a keg party and it's your turn to do a keg stand, and two frat boys lift you above the keg, don't yell "I think religion is a way for people to feel a false sense of safety in an unsafe world."<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-411002355926616514?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-2345543347116959592009-02-09T13:29:00.000-08:002009-02-09T13:30:49.397-08:00If you're ever in Texas and a shirtless guy in an '86 dodge Ram with a four inch lift pulls up beside you at a red light and starts yelling "What's up faggot?" and your windows are down, don't turn up "Louder than Bombs" to drown him out. It won't work.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-234554334711695959?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-69361262324599200002009-02-08T15:52:00.000-08:002009-02-08T15:52:01.113-08:00The good thing about The X Files is you get to see how old cell phones used to look.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-6936126232459920000?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-36130889417097507132009-02-07T11:16:00.000-08:002009-02-07T11:21:37.775-08:00I just watched the Today show interview. She claims that her desire to have these children is due to her own childhood desire to have brothers and sisters and her own dysfunctional family. The same family who is helping her raise her children? Also, did no one notice how much plastic surgery she's had? This lady is doing a great job of expressing her dysfunction any way she can. <br /><br />Oh yeah, and she wants to get her master's in counseling. Oh no.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3613088941709750713?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-1327148570436309622009-02-02T13:04:00.000-08:002009-02-02T13:06:27.863-08:00I'm on a new diet called "Don't eat when you're hungry". I've lost three pounds and the only drawback is a light sensitive migraine at the end of the day. Success!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-132714857043630962?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-90933012682107298382009-02-01T20:13:00.000-08:002009-02-01T20:19:54.991-08:00Today Chad and I were sitting on my front porch. The kid who lives in the back house came up and started playing swords by himself. He saw us on the porch then ran back to his house in the back of the property. He finally got up enough nerve to just walk up to where we were and stare at Chad. Chad said "Hello", the kid said "Hello", then ran away. Then Chad and I came up with a scary thing to do to him (hypothetically).<br /><br />Whenever the kid (whose name I am not mentioning in case he knows how to google) comes up to the front yard, Chad will say hello to him. Then the kid will say hello back. Then I will ask the kid who he is talking to. And the kid will say "that man in the chair". Then I'll say "What man in the chair?". Then the kid will run away. If he was a strange neighborhood kid you bet I would have done it. But there are repercussions when you mess with kids who live in the same space as you. Like their mothers coming to yell at you.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-9093301268210729838?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-89631957547303004342009-01-31T10:30:00.000-08:002009-01-31T20:35:09.798-08:00I've seasoned passed 120 minutes. It takes up 5 hours of my TiVo, but in my defense, when I'm high and want to dance, I need to fast forward thru The Proclaimers.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8963195754730300434?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-52573456128030853572009-01-31T10:00:00.000-08:002009-01-31T10:00:00.363-08:00I have a sure fire way to get you out of your house:<br /><br />#1 Get up before 10AM<br />#2 Take a shower before 3PM<br />#3 Put on a shirt<br />#4 Put on pants<br />#5 Put on shoes (you can't be sidetracked with underwear or socks)<br />#5 Go outside and watch the sun set.<br /><br />You did it!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-5257345612803085357?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-49298465719691196542009-01-30T10:00:00.000-08:002009-01-30T10:00:00.662-08:00I had a secret jump rope competition with a guy at the gym. He started jump roping near where I was jump roping. He won for consistency and stamina, I won for pure jump rope power and speed.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4929846571969119654?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-25142224197334745632009-01-29T10:00:00.000-08:002009-01-29T10:00:01.025-08:00Who would win in a fight to the quirk?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-2514222419733474563?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-34439860313498612212009-01-28T10:00:00.000-08:002009-01-28T11:26:23.724-08:00If I were on Wife Swap, one of the things I would demand of my new family is that we constantly watch "Wife Swap".<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3443986031349861221?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-31976869197802152242009-01-27T17:34:00.000-08:002009-01-28T11:24:40.432-08:00There are two well known people with some social problems I'd like to set up. They both live in Beverly Hills and I think they're perfect for each other. To be perfectly honest, I don't think that lack of money or social skills should preclude two people from seeking love.<br /><br />Here's what I would say to each of them about the other to get them to have dinner together:<br /><br />Hey Jermyn, I know you're busy roller skate dancing in front of an antiques store to old school rock on your boom box, but I want to tell you about someone. She's a blonde, about your age, and is in great shape. She loves to yell in a foreign language at cars stopped at red lights. She also loves to ask strangers about their ethnicity in the CVS pharmacy on Bevelry Dr. I call her "The Lady in Red" cause she's always wearing tight red excersice leotards. She loves to dance while listening to her walkman.<br /><br />Hey Lady in Red, I'd like to stop pretending to take pictures of you while you pose to tell you about a guy you may be interested in. His name is Jermyn, and I'd be surprised if you haven't heard of him. He's a pretty popular Robertson Blvd. rollerskating dancer. He's in great shape, and I read that he gets a whopping 5% of the tee shirt line Kitson is selling with his image on it. I'm not sure if that's the fairest price, but according to an interview, he does not involve himself with matters of money. And he likes to dance, like you. It's pretty perfect if you ask me.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3197686919780215224?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-85267215138920606992009-01-26T10:07:00.000-08:002009-01-26T18:23:16.842-08:00Due to my constant consumption of Law and Order:Special Victim Unit, I am constantly afraid of being raped. I don't wear dresses downtown (access is too easy) and I never wear heels to a place I can't valet (in case I need to run). If I'm ever caught by a rapist, here are some things I thought I could say to get me out of that pickle.<br /><br />-- I have an unrealistic sense of strength. Although I probably won’t be able to overpower you, you will suffer from extreme bruising from my gangly kicking.<br /><br />-- Although my vagina tastes sweet like a honeysuckle (not a deterrent, but the truth), inside it bears a new rape deterrent. It’s essentially a female condom with spikes in it. I wear it every day because quite frankly I don’t know how to get it out.<br /><a id="publishButton" class="cssButton" href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if (this.className.indexOf(&quot;ubtn-disabled&quot;) == -1) {var e = document['stuffform'].publish;(e.length) ? e[0].click() : e.click(); if (window.event) window.event.cancelBubble = true; return false;}"><div class="cssButtonOuter"><div class="cssButtonMiddle"><div class="cssButtonInner"><br /></div></div></div></a><br />-- Dude, not cool.<br /><br />-- (say in an Italian accent) Why you do this to your mother? (this would trick them into momentarily thinking they are raping their mother)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8526721513892060699?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-86742751295154193282009-01-24T22:52:00.000-08:002009-01-28T11:25:27.897-08:00There's a guy at the gym who wears a red, sleeveless shirt that reads "Save Darfur". But if you were to approach this man and talk passionately about Darfur, he would probably get angry at you for cock blocking him. You see, the shirt is a trick - this guy is trying to get laid. That's how you do it at my liberal, gay gym - you wear a political cut off tee to your spin class then get yourself a hand job in the steam room.<br /><br />However, if you approach the short, 50 year old lady who wears platform sneakers and wears sweatpants that read "Porn Star" on the arse, you would be right in thinking she is a porn star.<br /><br /><br /><iframe src="http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/m4m/1003694708.html" width="100%" frameborder="0" height="410"></iframe><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-8674275129515419328?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-49894793124149118042009-01-23T21:15:00.000-08:002009-01-28T11:25:07.321-08:00<img src="http://daddytypes.com/archive/pregnant_beer_chick.jpg" /><br /><br />You get it.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-4989479312414911804?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-24857984697487746352009-01-22T16:10:00.001-08:002009-01-23T21:02:01.849-08:00Angrily yell this at a mother whose young baby is staring at you in an adorable way:<br /><br />"Your baby is fucking flirting with me! "<br /><br />(and then let me know what happens)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-2485798469748774635?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-36139478000126942012009-01-22T15:54:00.000-08:002009-01-22T23:39:19.292-08:00Why does Law and Order have a video Game? Dick Wolf is out of control! It's not even good, it's like an afterthought of a revenue stream. It's a video game for adults who are not into video games, so I can't imagine it's causing fights at Game Stop. It's so slow. Open this locker, oh there's a sock in it, better put it in your evidence bag,then push the B button for a wise crack like "Too bad this guy got socked in the face" or something else terrible.<br /><br /><br />Yeah, I played the demo for an hour.<br /><br /><br /><br />Which is appropriate since that's the running time for Law and Order.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3613947800012694201?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-91195828251200222322009-01-21T18:21:00.000-08:002009-01-22T15:38:02.036-08:00Good Housekeeping, in an attempt to validate itself as a ladies magazine, does seasonal fashion spreads. But here's the thing, you'd think their models would look like your average military husband's wife or like a math teacher or a local TV anchor in a small city, but they're actually really good looking. Which makes me feel bad for them cause you have to assume that other models don't approve. If there were such a thing as a model convention, and the Good Housekeeping model was saying to a Vogue model "Yeah I just did a spread in the November 07 Good Housekeeping for JC Penny's women's business separates" you know that the Vogue model would just start laughing. Then she'd text her Vogue model friends "OMG this model works for GH" (cause models talk in text shorthand) and then all the Vogue models would be laughing and pointing at the Good Housekeeping model and she'd wonder where all her Good Housekeeping friends were, not realizing they all had the good sense to stay home for this very reason.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-9119582825120022232?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-15122382169069849832009-01-20T19:04:00.000-08:002009-01-21T18:28:34.083-08:00I'm going to open a restaurant called "Just E Nuff". We'll X-ray your stomach and calculate exaclty how much food will make you full. Then we'll bring out just that amount. If you're like me, you'll be happy there's a place like this around, serving up a guilt free portion of food. The only downside to the restaurant is that the entrees are like $500 because of the all the technology involved.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-1512238216906984983?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-3011365045122975992009-01-20T18:08:00.000-08:002009-01-20T18:32:23.275-08:00<span style="color: rgb(242, 16, 175);">I wrote a joke that I am ashamed of. I'm ashamed of it cause it's really cunty and makes me laugh. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(242, 16, 175);">Q: What's sadder than a homeless woman pushing a baby carriage full of garbage?</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(242, 16, 175);">A: An infertile one. </span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-301136504512297599?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-34508842666331588462009-01-20T18:01:00.000-08:002009-01-20T18:19:35.104-08:00Once upon a time I was into joke songs. So much so that I started to write one. I thought, "You know what's funny about me? I'm from the South but I am also a liberal. That's pretty hilarious, right?". You can figure out where this fucking gem of a tune is going even as it peters out and dies toward the end. Oh and, it doesn't even rhyme. You're welcome.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Redneck Liberal</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">By Erin Gibson (in the past)</span><br /><br />I put flow masters and a three inch lift on my hybrid<br />Yeah I could transform a suburban to run on vegetable oil but that don't make as big of a statement<br /><br />I think fags should be able marry other fags and whores should be able to terminate their pregnancies<br /><br />Put my Chimay in a bud light can, I cause I like what Bud stands for but I sure the hell don't want to drink it.<br /><br />I euthanize my crawdaddies before I boil 'em cause coookin' something alive ain't very Buddhist.<br /><br />You'll know it's my Vote for Obama bumper sticker I put on your Hummer cause they're Stubbs BBQ sauce all over it.<br /><br />If you put on Hank Williams Junior while watching Inconvenient Truth some fucked up shit happens.<br /><br />(then just some other dichotomies I dreamed up that would fit perfectly in this song)<br /><br />Riding a horse while drinking wheatgrass<br /><br />Mediating while at a wet t-shirt contest<br /><br />Bringing my prize winning bovine to therapy<br /><br />Skipping school to shoot .45's and when it's not my turn I just sit back and pick up good ol' Spalding Grey's "Monster in a Box"<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3450884266633158846?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-66743684338068672432009-01-19T23:56:00.000-08:002009-03-09T13:43:04.349-07:00Dicken's stories are chalk full of wonderful dog names. I've made an easy to use guide should you wish to bestow your new friend with a charming, creative moniker.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Rouncewell</span> - A dog who jump/runs in a poetic way, but also still kind of like a sprightly fat man.<br /><br /><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2051/2276278048_3007e453f2.jpg?v=0" width="200" height="200" /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pipchin</span> - A jaunty dog that is a canine representation of a 1930's newspaper boy. Most likely owned by a gay man. Or two.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.dailypets.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/cutejrt3.jpg" width="200" height="200" /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sowerberry </span>- A dog with a depressing demeanor and no will to live because of it's unfortunate body proportions.<br /><br /><img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/74/Basset_hound_0003.jpg" wops="" know="" it="" when="" you="" see="" width="200" height="300" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Perch</span> - A dog so convinced he/she is human sits upright in chairs and eats at the dinner table. These dogs also speak English.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.thriftyfun.com/images/articles26/cookie_281x300.jpg" width="250" height="250" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tozer </span>- The king douchebag of dogs. If you have this dog, you should know it only rides in Porches and won't lick his own ass.<br /><br /><img src="http://media-2.web.britannica.com/eb-media/41/8141-004-157ED3C9.jpg" width="200" height="200" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Nipper</span> - This dog fucking loves gags. She/He will pee on your things for laughs, tear things up for laughs, vomit on things for laughs. A Nipper is basically a member of the dog ETA.<br />(also looks like Bruce Vilanch)<br /><table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/LHd57NXCprP8pfP57R7n_Q?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_lAnBLo26m0g/SbV_D-cmiOI/AAAAAAAAuc4/YYB0fdw5wGU/s144/funny-dog.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/tedslap/GibblertronBlogPhotos?feat=embedwebsite">Gibblertron Blog Photos</a></td></tr></table><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Skettles</span> - A snobby dog with an empty soul.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.wallpaperpimper.com/wallpaper/Animal/Dogs/Scottish-Terrier-1-800x600.jpg" width="250" height="200" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Snawley</span> - A dog whose existence puts into question everything you thought you knew about this world. This dog also sheds assloads of hair which only sticks to eveningwear.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.justdogbreeds.com/images/breeds/komondor.jpg" width="200" height="200" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Snagsby </span>- Is my favorite Dicken's dog name. You can't take it or I will reverse find you from the analytics on this site and steal your dog. If the dog does not look like a Snagsby, you'd better run from me. Fast too. I take spin class and my cardio vascular capacity is super human.<br /><br />In case you're wondering, this is an example of the perfect Snagsby. Snagsby's must have three characteristics to be a Snagsby:<br /><br />#1 This dog LOOKS LIKE A SNAGSBY!<br />#3 This dog LOOKS LIKE A WOOKIE!<br />#5 I LOVE THIS DOG!<br /><img src="http://www.welcometothedoghouse.net/pics/brussels_griffon_wallpaper.jpg" width="300" height="225" /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-6674368433806867243?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-36401053923302364262009-01-18T18:24:00.000-08:002009-01-20T18:20:04.590-08:00I have decided as one of my New Year's Resolutions to drop the '2' from '2009'and refer to this year as 'double o nine'. Way better, right?<br /><br />009 ('double o nine) got me thinking about when I was young(er). About how despite all the odds, being white, living in a suburb in a conservative Southern city, I have a deep place in my heart for rap.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Bwfo6xcuX4Q&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Bwfo6xcuX4Q&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-3640105392330236426?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7488321338037475871.post-10470544143804155872009-01-18T15:15:00.000-08:002009-01-20T18:18:37.699-08:00Welcome to my new site! This is a replacement site for my very brown, very boring www.eringibson.com. Let me say a little something about 2009. First of all, Obama. Secondly, I am pledging to put more stuff on this site than is possible to consume. Sure some of it will be cheating, like putting a post up of a Jezebel story, but some of it will be worked on, edited, finessed and perfected for optimal Internet enjoyment. If I fail though, don't hold it against me.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/7488321338037475871-1047054414380415587?l=gibblertron.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Menoreply@blogger.com0